Handicapping the Puppy Bowl XVI MVP Race

The starting lineups for Puppy Bowl XVI have been announced with Team Ruff looking to go back-to-back following last year’s 59 - 51 victory over Team Fluff. You can currently get some action on the spread (Team Ruff -7.5) or several prop bets such as: Will the MVP be Male or Female? Will the MVP be Purebred or a Mixed Breed? Will two dogs mate during the game (Yes: +350)? Will Mike Vick Tweet about the game (Yes: +1200)?

However, there are currently no odds on WHO will win MVP. So I studied the tape (i.e. read their bios and looked at pics) on the 42 dogs competing in this year’s Puppy Bowl and handicapped the MVP odds on a few select puppers. Enjoy!

Aspen – Australian Cattle Dog / Cocker Spaniel

Love that Aspen is showing his jaw radius in his photo. As we know, the Puppy Bowl tends to be a turnover fest so ball security is key. Many have raised questions about Aspen’s ability to play in cold weather, with his bio stating he “turns into a slush puppy every winter”. Not exactly a trait I want in one of my guys but luckily this game is played indoors. (MVP Odds: +650)

Betty – Bulldog

One of just 6 purebred pups in the game, Betty has a knack for clogging the lane and creating big plays within the trenches. I love her sturdy build and low pad level. Betty may not be a flashy MVP candidate due to her style of play, but she will be a key piece for Team Ruff. Her bio states that she is “100% that pooch”. I am going to top that acclaim and say Betty is a bad bitch. (MVP Odds: +900)

Cafecito – Crested / Yorkshire Terrier

Cafecito lives up to his name. My dude looks absolutely wired in his team photo. I am a bit worried that Cafecito’s head is not in the game as his bio says “half of his heart is still in Havana”. I am not 100% sure what that means but Cafecito feels like a wild card that could impact Team Ruff’s chemistry. (MVP Odds: +15000)

Ferris – Labrador Retriever / American Eskimo

I love the tape that I have seen so far on Ferris. Coming out of Iowa, this guy defines the blue-collar work ethic that his state’s economy thrives on with his tough style of play. However, many were talking about potential injury concerns at media day. Ferris went as far to say he “really needs a day off” when putting together his Puppy Bowl bio. Whether or not Ferris suits up will be one of the biggest storylines going into gameday. (MVP Odds: +750)

Granny Smith – Catahoula / American Staffordshire Terrier

Nobodies stock has climbed higher leading up to Puppy Bowl VXI than Granny Smith’s. Often overlooked due to her small stature and uncharacteristic name, Granny Smith has been quoted in her bio that she “spent 2019 strengthening her core”. While we are a bit skeptical on that claim since Granny Smith is 12 weeks old, we are nonetheless excited to see her put her newfound strength on display. (MVP Odds: +550)

Huck – Miniature Poodle / Shih Tzu

I want to go on the record that I am concerned about Huck’s well-being. (MVP Odds: +55000)

Killian – Great Dane

Killian is the odds-on favorite for Puppy Bowl VXI MVP. A well-rounded player that is ready for primetime, expect Killian to put the team on his back (MVP Odds: +125)

Linus – Pomeranian / Miniature Poodle.

Numerous scouts have used the same word to describe Linus: “elusive”. One of the smallest players in the Puppy Bowl, Linus often flashes deceptive speed and elite lateral quickness. His bio notes that he once “got mistaken for a stuffed animal”, which I love because I expect many to underestimate this world-class athlete going into Sunday. (MVP Odds: +850)

Papaya – Labrador Retriever / Border Collie

Look at that face. Papaya is LOCKED IN. Her bio says that she refers to herself as “a dish best served raw”. She might just fucking murder Huck on the field. (MVP Odds: +225)

Sol – Chihuahua / Border Collie

While Sol did not exactly jump out at the combine, she did lead all other pups in neck size measurements. Team Fluff will need to rely on her veteran presence as she is the oldest dog in the game. (MVP Odds: +1200)

Theodore – Pomeranian / Siberian Husky

Big mistake of Theodore to give Team Ruff bulletin board material leading up to the big game. In his bio, Theodore wants to let everyone that he “never misses a blowout”. Is that a score prediction leading up the Puppy Bowl? Team Ruff thinks so and are not happy. (MVP Odds: +3500)

Good dog(s)!